Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your beer.

I'd rather have a beer than win father of the year.- Homer Simpson

My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy... so I got drunk.

What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

There are drunk bikers. There are old bikers. There are NO old, drunk bikers.

You’ve reached the speed of light is when you take out a bottle of beer out of the fridge before the light comes on.